Mami Tape

Mami Tape’s Thoughts

by Lawrence Raysor

Before my eyes could take the light
And I knew my sounds before my sights,
My mother always taught me
What was wrong and what was white.
In my brain this was embedded in:
From now until your very end
American is better than
Anything and everything.
So I followed without question
Loved the clothes I was dressed in
Closed the door on what was Eastern
And invited what was West in.
I called the Asians, Yellow
Because I’ll never be a fellow,
And these two ears fall deaf
On their “heys” and “hellos”.
See my friends are Caucasian
And we share a location
But since my family’s Asian
We can’t share education?
I’ve done assimilation
But slanted eyes is all you see
I’m so American it’s an honor
For them to call you me.
I’m meant to fall you see
Because you want us to assimilate
So you push and intimidate
To ensure that we emulate.
So conform we do
As our culture takes a back seat
Now when I see Chinese
It hurts to say that that’s me.

Yet it’s too late to change
And I’m too far to claim
The same word that you say
When prompted for my name.
Chinese…
That’s it
Just a word’s what we’ve become
Centuries of history
All summed up in one
Chinese…
It’s enough for you to deny
No matter how hard I try
My whole life’s been a lie
And the answer to my why’s
Chinese
But I’ve denied my own people
Shunned them to become equal
And now I’m a no one
I can never be a true
Chinese

So If we could switch places
I wonder if you’d take this
Ball and chain of pain I’ve donned
Thanks to you racists
For I’m forever faceless
In a purgatory of races
And no one will ever know
Who the real Mami Tape is.